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Quarter-Life Crisis

"Simply put, a quarter-life crisis is a period of intense soul searching and stress occurring in your mid 20s to early 30s."-Varci Vartanian
Quarter-life crisis in picture format


I have often experienced seasons of feeling lost, uncertain, and insecure of the direction my life was heading. However, I am feeling this much more then ever as of late. There are plenty of reasons that play a factor in this quarter-life crisis.

1. Marital Separation 

I am currently separated from my husband of 8 years. I founded my entire identity in being a wife and joining my entire being with someone else. The moment the relationship began to dissolve is when the quarter-life crisis red flags began to fly high. If all that I've made my life around is now gone then what was I? In the beginning, it left such a void in my life. I was constantly looking externally to friends, to family, to tangible objects to show me what to do. I found myself asking "What the fuck do I do now?" more often then I care to remember. I still ask myself what am I doing, only now it's with less anxiety and more of a peaceful hum of stress. 

2.Moved back home

I relocated back to the small town I grew up in. The small town I vowed to NEVER live in the moment I left it back when I was 18. All of my friends are in a different city and I feel desperately alone in a town that I don't particularly care for. Did I mention I'm living with my elderly parents? 

3. Uncertainty

I have never been more uncertain of my true calling then I am now. Sure, I know my strengths and weaknesses. I know the jobs that I excel in and the ones that I'll crumble in within a matter of months. I know my Myers-Briggs, my Enneagram number, my Natal Birth chart makeup yet I still feel so unsure where to go or what to do. I often pray that God would come just come on already and make the decision obvious for me. Clearly, I have too many options and with too many choices I end up making none. 

 “You can’t write a script in your mind and then force yourself to follow it. You have to let yourself be.” — Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Half of a Yellow Sun

What gives me a bit of peace is knowing there are many people just like me feeling lost, and uncertain just like I am.
In fact, I think the Millennial generation is what sparked up the term quarter-life crisis. Prior to this I only knew of the mid-life crisis. Since I'm 33 "I'm too high to get over, too low to get under" (If you don't where that is from then allow Google to do its work in you.

When the overwhelming sense of failure weighs heavy on me I try to show myself grace. I allow myself space to cry because though a crisis can be fuel to reshape your life, it is also very saddening. In order to make room for what is to come I want to properly let go of what once was. 
I have also been trying to make space for my creativity. Even though I may be feeling low I journal weekly, practice guitar, read, immerse myself in nature. I do all the things that will give room to release negative emotions in order to make space within me for something better. 
Today I cried a lot. Maybe tomorrow I will cry just a little. Then, maybe the day after I will not cry at all. Like a motherfucking surfer, I'm riding this wave. I'm trying to channel my inner Beyonce-- #Surfboard. 

What has helped you through times of feeling lost? Please share since we are all in this together. 


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