Grief has turned me into a stranger. I look into the mirror and I don't know the person looking back at me. She looks like me, but I don't know her ways. I often feel that I am watching myself on a movie screen as I go about my day. I'm not sure what stage of grief I am in now, but I'm sure there's a sprinkle of anger, depression, and acceptance all mixed into one. I have come to believe that everyone I love will go away. It doesn't matter how much I think I have loved them they will leave eventually. They may leave willingly which stings something terrible. They may leave unwillingly, because they are no longer living. Either way, they all leave. Somehow, I want to believe this lie that everyone I love will always stay. I am learning to accept slowly that I can't control anyone but myself, and this means I can't control if someone leaves or stays in relationship with me. This often makes me go into self-preservation mode. My thinking goes som...